Please hit "WEBCASTS"
Hi there. I am Dr. Gilbert Soo Hoo, welcoming you back for the tenth episode of our series of talks on the topic, “My Work, Career, and Vocation.” In the last couple of episodes, we discussed self-care and being self-focused to a degree in view of the second greatest commandment (“Love your neighbour as yourself”). We ourselves must ensure that we are healthy in all respects, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If we cannot care for ourselves, how can we be responsible for someone else? From the last episode we understand that God is the source of common grace because he is God and, therefore, fully capable of blessing humanity with good things generously, abundantly. Along that line of reasoning, we looked at human examples of philanthropy—wealthy individuals like Gates and Buffet. Then we examined the advantage of being well-placed in one’s company, senior management and higher, who hold positions of authority and influence, thereby having the potential of much good for others and even society. Of course, the down side are incidences of those wielding power for evil purposes. We also considered the writer of Ecclesiastes who identified himself as teacher and king, possessing uncommon wisdom. The harsh lesson he learnt and conveyed to his readers is that empty pursuit of self-pleasure and self-gain without thought for others results in big disappointment and the deep regret of perhaps a wasted effort and life.
The concept of carpe diem, “seizing the moment”, making most of the present while the opportunity exists, is a fundamental principle for living life fully now, being proactive, and for realizing one’s potential in the marketplace. Should we achieve a significant position in our profession, our potential for exerting common grace is much greater. Having that as our objective, we can ensure that our motives for climbing to the top are above board and noble. We will bless others and, in doing so, we bless ourselves. The two considerations go together, like two sides of the proverbial coin.
We also reviewed those who transitioned to another line of work, not in alignment to ascending the corporate ladder—the banker turned hawker and others from various professions entering into full-time professional ministry as pastor, missionary, or theological educator. The potential for the common good, especially ministry purported to serve people, instructing, exhorting, teaching, and even rebuking. The aim is their personal growth and development. Even the hawker provides a public service for customers looking for good food at reasonable prices.
In this episode, we address the concern that we may become too self-centred as we strive to move upward. This concern is an ever-present threat because we’re all human and our tendency is to prioritize our own desires and needs ahead of those of others. This tendency, however, is not evil in and of itself. If our vocation to show common grace for the common good aligns with our natural inclination, there would be no need for the divine commandment. It’s given because we have to curb our natural instincts in order to comply with the divine will and purpose. The imperative demands obedience. That requires personal discipline.
For example, we know we should exercise regularly to attain and to maintain good health, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. But how many of us do it, including it into our schedules? We say we’re too busy or tired. We don’t know where to insert it into our day or week. It’s too easy to let things slide, to procrastinate, saying. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” But tomorrow never comes. The only way we’ll do it is if we make a firm decision to do it, plot when to do it, and then go do it regardless of our busyness or fatigue. We start slow especially if we have not exercised in a while to avoid injury or strain which would sideline us and so defeat the purpose. We just do it even for a few minutes. This helps break the inertia. We generate some momentum; in due time after several forays into our exercise regime, it becomes more natural and less intrusive.
Hence, personal discipline is an important key factor to curb our natural tendency to be too self-focused to the neglect of others. Like exercise, we have to work at it if it doesn’t come naturally, beginning slowly and, in time and persistence, build up our momentum. Start with small gestures of goodwill and progress to larger gestures. At some point, we may become aware of our limitations of kindness and generosity. Self-awareness is good. These limits may be genuine in that they represent our personal boundaries within which we’re comfortable and still be able to meet our personal responsibilities in other areas. For example, we are friendly to another person but we can’t see ourselves treating them to a meal as that goes beyond our budget or available time. Maybe we consider inviting them to share a cup of coffee or tea instead, less expensive than a meal. We chat; get to know each other a bit more on the personal level. But sometimes our limits are only our perception until we experiment and push through, thereby pushing those limits further out. We may discover that we can be more generous than we initially thought, that we can do it without costing us an “arm and a leg”.
Perhaps our only motivation is that God commanded it. We “have to do it”. At least that. Hopefully in due time when we show kindness as a “habit” the behavior becomes more natural and we don’t have to “force” ourselves to do something we don’t like. Sounds alien. If we don’t do what God says, bad things will happen to us? Reality is not so simplistic. Most likely nothing bad happens. But how seriously do we take Scripture? For those of us who regard it as the sacred word of God, we want to honor God and his word.
Likely a greater motivation to move out of our self-focus is gratitude. If we’ve ever suffered a misfortune, we may be more sympathetic to others facing a similar fate. We survived and are thankful. Or if we hit rock bottom and someone helped us or we’re given a second chance. We understand what someone is going through as they struggle. We return the favor shown to us by helping someone else. We’re all part of the human race. If we don’t have compassion or feel for others, are we really human?
Permit me to share a story about second chances and how that can turn into a blessing. I introduce Mark Cuban, a billionaire and owner of a professional basketball team. Early in his career he was fired from several jobs. He treated each firing as a learning experience. He’s been ridiculed for some of his ideas. But he persisted to become who he is today.
One important lesson emerged from charges of sexual harassment in his company. He discovered that treating everyone equally does not mean treating everyone the same. In particular, saying something off-color to a white male cannot be repeated to a woman, white, black, or Asian. He learned that everyone is different and he must treat them as individuals, understanding them, and helping them succeed. He invests in startups because as he says: “I do it because it sends the message to kids and entrepreneurs of all ages that if somebody from a small-time town in Idaho or North Carolina can find their way onto the carpet to pitch to the sharks (potential investors), then anybody can,” he said.
Cuban is a prime example of someone who made it big, in large measure, because of setbacks and encourages others to follow his lead. On a much smaller scale, we who have experienced setbacks, disappointments, and failure, can be more sympathetic to others who experience the same thing. Like Cuban, can we share what we have learned and offer ourselves as a message that failure need not define you but make you stronger?
On the other hand, when we’re down, would it not be a boost to morale if someone offered words of encouragement and advice? That could make all the difference between wallowing in self-pity and learning with greater determination to succeed. What would be of special benefit is someone who struggled themselves, maybe failed, but got back on their feet and then do well. They become our inspiration and model. We would think, if they can do it, so can I.
This would be common grace for the common good. Grace takes many forms. There’s not just one way of showing grace. Some do it in obedience to the second greatest commandment. Others do it out of gratitude for the misfortunes they managed to overcome and now want to help others facing similar challenges. Still others may be naturally compassionate or through self-discipline they’ve cultivated an interest in the welfare of others.
In every case, there’s an element of self-interest and self-care. We bless others because we’ve been blessed. Our experiences or self-discipline prompt us to see others deserving our attention and, when the opportunity arises, to act accordingly.
We should ask a probing question: why was I blessed? Why has something good happen to me? Even if we earned it through hard work or being smart, we don’t control circumstances. Might there be a divine presence to make it happen? Even if we dismiss that possibility, the question still confronts us, suggesting we owe a debt to humanity of which we’re a part. Something to think about.
Questions and Comments
1. Is being too self-centred a big challenge for you?
2. What is one important life lesson you learned that you can pass on to others?
3. Can you think of someone to whom you can encourage? Will you do so?