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In the previous chapter, I mentioned that I would be sharing thirteen pointers to help those suffering from anxiety. Well, here they are! Buckle your seatbelts—here we go!
Pointer Number One: Let Go of Perfectionism
Consign the curse of perfectionism to the trash bin. Many who chase perfection end up struggling with anxiety and depression because they have been conditioned to see themselves as failures the moment they stumble.
Get real. Nothing is perfect in this fallen world, which means things won’t always work out the way you wish—whether you like it or not! Learn to accept the world for what it is, including the blemishes, faults, and shortcomings in both yourself and those around you. Don’t be too hard on yourself by setting unattainable standards!
Pointer Number Two: Be Kind to Yourself
As the wise saying goes, "To err is human, to forgive, divine." Do not expect to win trophies in every event you take part in. Instead, think of yourself as a young schoolboy—how would you treat him if he made a mistake? Would you harshly punish him, or offer understanding and encouragement? Treat yourself with that same kindness. As you extend compassion to others, remember to reserve some for yourself. Treating others with love, care, and kindness will also help you build better relationships!
Pointer Number Three: Accept That Life is Uncertain
Life is full of unpredictable events, yet many people struggle to accept its innate uncertainties. Clinging to unrealistic expectations will only lead to anxiety.
As the song lyrics go:
"I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine;
For its skies may turn to gray."
The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus famously said, "Change is the only constant." No matter how well we plan, uncertainty will always be present. Instead of resisting change, why not learn to embrace and manage it?
Picture an innkeeper who welcomes every guest with open doors, regardless of whether they are good, bad, or ugly. We, too, should greet life's uncertainties with an open mind, adapting to challenges as they come.
Pointer Number Four: Identify What is Truly Unsettling You
Are your worries real, or are they the product of your imagination? Did they originate from your thoughts, or are they external factors? Humans are often skilled at creating anxiety over hypothetical scenarios.
Studies reveal that only 8% of what we worry about actually happens. That means 92% of our worries are unfounded! Reflect on past worries—how many of them led to actual problems?
As the hymn says, "What peace we often forfeit, what pains you needlessly bear!" Stop dwelling on the past—it’s all water under the bridge. Instead, commit yourself to a purpose-driven life and surround yourself with the right people.
Pointer Number Five: Ask Yourself These Questions
Pointer Number Six: Combat Procrastination
Stop postponing difficult or unpleasant tasks. Anxiety increases when procrastination is no longer an option, creating unnecessary stress.
To combat procrastination, establish a timetable and stick to it. Don’t retreat when you hit a rough patch—persevere and keep moving forward!
Pointer Number Seven: Maintain a Well-Balanced Life
Find meaningful commitments—whether it’s work, hobbies, or regular exercise—and schedule daily time-outs.
Spend time in nature. Take a leisurely walk in a wooded area and allow yourself to be soothed by the sounds of rustling leaves and chirping insects. Eat balanced meals, get fresh air, and prioritize restful sleep.
Most importantly, have one or two close friends with whom you can share your thoughts, and take short breaks to refresh your mind. A well-balanced life consists of study, work, and rest—not just luxuries to be ignored!
Pointer Number Eight: Reevaluate Your Values
Do you measure success by wealth, housing, cars, or job titles? If so, you may be trapped in a rat race where anxiety lurks at every corner.
If material possessions are causing you stress, take a step back and reassess their true worth. This is a sign to reflect and make necessary adjustments.
Pointer Number Nine: Redirect Your Focus
When anxiety strikes, shift your attention elsewhere. Read something light, listen to a positive podcast, have a casual chat with a friend, engage in physical activity, or do household chores. Find activities that are enjoyable and beneficial to you.
Pointer Number Ten: Write Down Your Worries
Jot down your anxieties on slips of paper and toss them into an empty bottle. Tell yourself these worries have been dismissed. Revisit the bottle after some time, and you’ll likely find that many of those worries never came to pass.
Pointer Number Eleven: Schedule Worry Time
Set aside 15 to 30 minutes a day—preferably in the morning or afternoon—to allow yourself to worry. During this time, acknowledge your fears, but once the time is up, let them go. This exercise helps confine worries to a specific window rather than allowing them to dominate your entire day.
Pointer Number Twelve: Practice Relaxation Techniques
Try deep breathing exercises: inhale slowly while counting to three, hold your breath at the dān tián (丹田) acupuncture point, about 50mm below the navel, and then exhale while counting to six. This technique helps relax your muscles and shifts your focus away from worrying.
Pointer Number Thirteen: Trust and Let Go
Calm your mind by listening to soothing music or reading positive articles aloud. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that you are not alone.
Write down your worries and place them in a bottle, symbolizing your decision to let go of what is beyond your control. Trust that the Rock of Ages is there to lean on—with Him, all things are possible.